Scared of my dependence
On you and your appraisal,
I wonder how much is me
And how much is you instead.
There is a line drawn thinly –
Between my warring states –
That I frequently visit in solitude
And traverse with quiet shame.
All I want is to make a choice,
To build my home on a foundation –
Solid in principle and assurance,
Safe for my heart and mind to rest.
Any trust in myself is as fragile
As the paper beneath this pen.
Wanting to ask you how to handle it,
Realizing you are what I need to handle.