It’s easy to lie here with you in the dark. Two o’clock in the morning is forgiving. There is no judgement, no guilt. All there is is the sharp howl of the wind against your old window panes and the sweet, low rumble of your breathing hitting your pillow. Even though it’s dark, I can still make out the muscular curve of your back and the carefree way you drape your left arm over your head with its counterpart hanging off the side of the bed.

You are beautiful to look at. Sitting here, drowning in one of your college t-shirts, I’m amazed by the effortless ease of your beauty. Women would kill for that perfectly nonchalant sex appeal. They’d kill to sleep with it, too. 
And yet, once the sun rises and the world begins to bustle once more, I know regrets of this night will be all my mind can focus on.

Those regrets won’t be about the lack of sleep or the non-existence of inhibitions. They will be about the way I am letting myself fall for you when I know certainly well that you have no intention of ever falling. Letting my addiction to you abuse my heart in unimaginable ways.

Once the light hits our cheeks, and we must wake to the world, we will part. You will go on living life as usual, and I, I will sink down deep into myself and wonder how I could ever let myself love you more than I love me.


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